One item that the modern slot machine has that previous models lacked is the paper-money changer. This innova¬tion was introduced to vending machines at about the same time. Depending on which neck of the woods you’re playing in, the machine might change anything from $1 to $100 bills.

As I mentioned before, the money-changing machines built into the modern slots are, unfortunately, no better than the ones you might otherwise be used to. One little fold in the corner of a bill and the damn thing spits it back. Assuming you have a bill that’s adequately flat, you feed it into the Slots tournaments, push the CASH OUT button, and the correct number of coins comes out—eager, of course, to be fed back in.